Hope is dead; so I am going home……….
Beside her I lay these words: Your life was short, your sorrow great, but your smile filled the darkest places of my hart and brought joy to my last days.
Your consolation; you can now run to a home that will never end, joy that never stops and peace is all you will know, forever more.
My consolation shall be this; our separation will be short as my days draw to a close, soon I will see all those I have loved in their true beauty as my blindness gives way to sight.
My Lord, I have screamed "WHY" until my voice was faint. Your answers never came; you left me to seek them on my own. Am I a fool to believe in you? I have walked and walked looking for some clue, some explanation. Why would a loving God allow such a world as this? The loneliness and silence was too much to bear as I continued to walk. Why did your answers never come? My wife once said as I asked “why” (during one of my pity parties); “I don’t know, but did you ever think, why not?” Should I expect nothing bad to happen because I have followed you? I have watched as everyone I have ever loved was taken away from me. I have been left to walk in this world alone, my biggest fear came true. So I feel I have the right to ask why, but you will not answer. Who am I to expect an explanation from you? Maybe the truth is my mind of flesh and blood could never understand nor comprehend you or your ways. Just as child never understands their father while they struggle to grow up, they have to leave home before they can understand its comfort and security. I guess you have to walk in darkness before you appreciate the light, you can never enjoy heaven until you have walked through hell. Maybe it’s then and only then you can go home and get the answers to the questions you buried deep as a child.
So my Father, I’m coming home............
