Day 1097

“See Rock City”….. As a boy I saw these signs all over the south. Painted on barn roofs, bill boards and even bird houses. I remember as a child holding my mothers hand as we climbed up the mountain where you can see seven states (not that I would know if I could have seen them). I’m in Chattanooga, the end of Tennessee and the beginning of north Georgia and the foot hills of the smoky mountains. A beautiful area, now a waist land. The land is still the same, the town is a wreck. It looks as if a wide spread panic took place in this mid size city and war broke out, I have not seen it this bad since Chicago. Burned houses, turn over cars; kind of reminds me of some of the stories the boys told about Atlanta, that is why I never went into the big cities unless I just had no other choice.

Our Sons said they had a real struggle staying alive as they made their way through the suburbs of Atlanta. When the Screams started, panic swept everyone, and it brought out the primal instincts in those that are border line civilized. Even though most of my family listen to my ratings about the implants and did not receive them, they now had to face the darker side of humanity. My sons were not ones to hunt or fish and even though I love the outdoors, I did not see the point in killing game that no one would eat, so I got away from it. Hence they had no guns to defend themselves when all went to hell. So they stayed low and kept there heads down as they searched for each other before they came to us. The stories they told of how people (once they realized what was causing the sudden death of so many) would try and cut the implants out of themselves before they went viral. Hospitals turn into war zones (some still had power due to emergency generators) and people tried to siege them and hold doctors at gun point forcing them to take out the RFID. But when the Doctors started dropping dead, it was too late. A human being is smart and can be reason with; a mob of people will do very stupid things when they see no hope. And so for the second time in its history, Atlanta was set on fire and burned (there was no one to stop it from spreading, no firemen, no emergency response). After my sons told me this, I never wanted to see the city again.

In the time that followed after the fall, our life’s changed. I will not be so bold as to say for the better, but some of the changes were nice. I now saw teenagers playing outside, making up games. Little girls playing with dolls, instead of keeping up gossip with their friends on a text device. People talking instead of staring at a TV (like I use to do). Or reading as they sit under a tree while the breeze keeps them cool instead of indoor air conditioning. Cores replaced work; everyone pitched in and did their part. My sons (who worked indoors all their lives) and I now walk through the woods and hunted, but most of all, we talked. Life had become simple again and even though it was forced on us and we would have never done it on our own, that part was a pleasant change. I began to realize, that our life before was a trap. A trap caused by simple lust, we could never have enough we always lusted for more, more conveniences, more stuff. When you say lust, people always think of sex and sin. But lust is the desire for something you don’t have but want. And our society had gotten to the point, that there was never enough to satisfy, there was always the demand for more. And when you want all the time it leads to greed, and greed corrupts. We were trapped slaves to lust. Some times less is more, I have heard the statement all my life, now it made perfect since.

A year and a half had passed since the day of the reunion. We had survived and were learning more about surviving and living off the land. Wounds and hurts were beginning to heal and we had come to the point of accepting our new way of life. But when we would gather around for our family meal at night and a prayer was offered up, a lump would come in our throats as each member of our other sons family was mention and prayed for by name (by whoever’s turn it was to pray that night). All we wanted was to know what happened and are they safe. Then one day my sons came to me with an idea…………


Go to Day 1103

Day 1091

After the darkness fell and the screams subsided, came the wait. We made it, we survived but what next………..

When your up in years and your life is in its winter, you learn to be alone. You wait for those visits from family, when they have time to spare. They are busy now, each have life’s of their own just like you use to. You long for a phone call; you look out the window on the weekends and sigh as each car passes your driveway knowing once again it was not them. You build a life together, you raise your family, they grow up and have families of there own just like you prayed they would. When you have all boys, they tend to gravitate to their wives family and you see less and less of them, it’s just natural. We had settled into a routine, we had a good life; until the great fall.

It was years in the making, I felt it was coming, there were signs that we were on the brink. But still no one took it seriously, no one was prepared. No one thought it would turn out the way it did or was ready for what lay ahead when it happened. The town fell silent, only a small handful survived. We lived about seventy miles from Atlanta near a lake, our retirement home. Two of our sons lived close to the big city, another in Mississippi. My wife was grieving over the fate of our boys and their families. I did not know what to do; I did not know how to comfort her. I was in fair shape for my age, I could have walked to the city and tired to find out, but I could not leave her, her knees would not let her walk that distance. Weeks went by and turned into months. I would walk into town once a week and find food at the abandon stores. She stayed home with that same worried look. What I would not give to see her smile again; her family her sons were everything.

I learn to hunt again; fresh game became part of our diet and there was always fish to catch. I found some seeds at the store and we planed on starting a garden in the spring. On my trips into town I would find books and magazines for her to read, and puzzles for us to put together any thing I could find to take her mind off of the big question. I always enjoyed having her all to myself, but not like this, not when all the ones we loved were out there some where beyond our reach.

I got up early to start the fire; it was another cold day on the lake. We had converted the fire place so we could cook using it. I was out gathering wood when I heard the voices. It sounded like a big group of people headed or way. I ran back into the house and got my rifle ready. My wife (now awake) sat bolt upright in the bed and started asking questions. I urged her to be quite and we listen as the voices got closer. Then came the bang on the door, we stayed still and quite. Another bang and then came the best sound I had heard in a long time. Mom…. Dad…. are you in there? We rushed to the door and opened it wide to find our two sons and their families. They were alive!

Everyone filled the house and it was home once again. They told us their stories and how they managed to find each other in the all chaos that followed the fall. Not all were happy tales because of family members that did not make it and extended family that was never found. Then my youngest son said; “look, they got food and they can cook over the fireplace, I told you Dad would know what to do”. My wife (with a smile on her face) and the girls started to prepare some food and my son’s along with their children and I gather wood for the fire, it was a great reunion. In the weeks that followed we began to set up our own community. We went into the other house near by and cleaned them out for the Boys and their families (not a pleasant task given the death toll that surrounded us). And for a season we all lived together and for a time we were happy. But there was still one unanswered question. What about our other son and his family two states away?

I have turned south on I-24 headed towards Chattanooga. I bandage my ear, the pain comes and goes but at night it throbs and keeps me awake. I wish I knew what to do about it, but I’m not a Doctor, I’m just an old man that has already lived to long. The rain and wind have taken most of the leaves from the trees; winter is on its way.

Go to Day 1097

Day 1087

I have been held up in an abandon box car off the railroad tracks in the small town of Cowan, TN. The small city hall still had a weather worn American flag flying. I respectfully took it down folded it and placed inside the city hall; from the looks of it no one has been there for some time (no surprise). It always did upset me to see the flag out in the rain. The last few days have been your typical wet southern fall weather. So I’ve stayed put and tried to keep warm. I do not feel like walking in the rain. My head hurts most of the time, I have not been able to find any pharmacies, so I could at least get some aspirin. My ear on the side where I lost my hearing is bleeding. I may have an infection, what I would not give for some antibiotics. I have never been one to take much medication, because of the way the pharmaceutical companies abused deregulation. The advertising of drugs for every symptom in the world got out of hand. Another fine example of greed in this country.

In 1997 it was approved for the prescription drug industry to advertise direct to the consumer and the Genie was let out of the bottle. They could not pray on the worries of all that had the latest disease of the day the hypochondriacs of the world. Every disease had a catchy acronym so you could go to the Doctor and say I got “COPD” or “ADHD” or any thing that ends in “D”. I never knew “ED” was such a problem until it was broadcast ever commercial break. We had our war on drugs (illegal drugs) but the pharmaceutical companies were drugging America legally. Disease became like fashion, if you did not have it; you did after you watched a commercial about the symptoms. And the elderly were being over drug to the point they could not afford to eat or pay their heating bills for buying drugs. When someone has to choose medicine over food, something is wrong. Greed in the health care system was the shame of our country.

My wife and I tried to stay away from the Doctor; we tried to do everything natural we could to stay healthy as we got older. I hate going to the Doctor as you well know. And of coarse I had always been overweight (you would never know it, to see me now). But we managed to get by with out falling into the pill trap. Some I know were not so lucky, I remember this one guy around the turn (turn of the century) that had to work until the day he died because he was afraid to retire; he and his wife had so many prescription drugs to buy.

This old box car is parked next to a rail road museum. The old steam engine out front came from the turn of the last century. This country was still growing then; the turn of the next century was the start of its decline. I have walk three lonely years by myself, now it’s harder that every to walk alone. I miss her, I miss all my family.

There are some things I did not want to tell you, things I did not want to write about again. But I feel I am coming to the end, so I want to tell you a few of the stories about our family. I will try to cover it in the next several writings. But bear in mind I may not be able to write for the emotions this will stir; (I write this as if I’m truly writing to someone; who am I kidding). First let me start by saying this: your Son’s are the kind of men you can stand beside when trouble comes. They will make you prouder that you ever thought you could be; I wish I could see them one last time……… They await me just on the other side of this curtain in front of reality.

Day 1079

I feel a strange pull towards home now (or should I say my old house, for it has not been a home for some years now). It is something I can not explain, this attraction to go back now. I kind of thought I would go back, I have been thinking about it, but now it is a must, because of what I heard. I hate to write about this so soon, but maybe it will help to get it written down. Maybe it will, I don’t know any more if any thing helps.... My past self, if you could read this, my wish would be for you to change time somehow so none of this happens. If only we could dam up the river of time and force it in another direction, if only….

It was last week after our stay at the old park. We got up the next morning and continued our walk towards Mississippi. I did not feel like walking, my head had been hurting, but I tried to press on like I was on a schedule or had a bus to catch, damn my stupid need to keep walking. Maybe if we had waited the chain of events that followed might have gone differently. We had been walking all day and I was about ready to stop when we came up on this open field that had an Indian mound on the far end. I thought it would be nice to walk over and check it out. I left the cart up by the road and we walk through the open field towards the mound. It was a beautiful fall day the trees off in the distance had all their fall colors. I stopped and took a deep breath of the crisp afternoon air as Hope ran out in front. I thought to myself; I almost feel happy for a change. When I heard the first audible sound come from Hope I had ever heard (other than whimpering when she cries). It was a loud scream; I looked and she was no where in sight. I ran towards the last spot I saw her and found broken boards, boards that once covered an abandon well. She had fallen into this dark hole. I screamed her name, no response. I ran back to my pack and got the crank flash light. I tried to look down the hole to see if I could see her, but the light was week and old, the battery drained, it would not hold a charge for long without having to crank and crank. I could barely make out the shape of her head.

I ran back to the cart again to get some rope. But when I got back to the hole I realized no trees were near enough to tie the rope to. I don’t know if I could have repelled down into the hole any way with out trapping us both. I was frantic; I did not know what to do. I tied a loop on the end and fished it down in to the hole. I called down and told her to grab the rope; no response. I pulled the rope back up and could tell by the weight she did not grab hold; I threw it down again. I was losing light fast and it was getting harder to see into the hole. I screamed her name over and over until my throat became raw. “Grab the Rope! Grab the rope please! Please God, let her grab the rope!” I tried again, dropping the rope into the hole. Darkness fell and the silence from that hole was deafening. I built a fire and tried again and again to fish her out. I don’t know how much time passed; time means nothing any more until you want something to happen, some results. I wore myself out trying time after time until I collapsed on the rim of the well. I continued to talk to her, if she could hear me I wanted her to know I was still there. Then I remembered a song my wife use to sing to our boys at bed time so I sang it to her, I kept repeating the song until morning came.

I awoke with the sun in my eyes. Oh God how could I fallen asleep. I started pulling the rope out of the hole to start trying again, but this time it was heavy on the other end. I began to pull gently just incase. Slowly I eased the rope up until I saw her limp body. I pulled her from the hole, she was ice cold and soaking wet. I pulled off my coat and shirt and after striping her wet cloths off I placed her in mine a wrapped her up. She was still breathing, she was still alive. I started the fire back up and got her as close to it as I could. I ran again to the cart and got anything I could find to wrap her in. Then I held her in my arms trying to transfer my body heat to her; and I prayed.

The day turned to dark and I held on to her. I watched as the moon ran across the sky and I held on to her. The sun rose the next day, she was still in my arms. As the warmth of the sun hit her face, her eyes opened. She gave me a faint smile and lifted her arms until they were around my neck. She pulled my face to hers and kissed me on my cheek. That is when I heard her say; “it’s time to go home Gran-B, everything is alright now, just come home”. She then went limp and she was gone. I placed her under a tree that was bright with colors. She wore her frilly dress and I laid her hat beside her.

I left the trace behind at Highland TN, I’m walking 64 east. I have crossed I-65 but if my map serves me well I will continue on 64 until I get to I-24 and then I will turn south. I am walking back to Georgia.

Go to Day 1087

Day 1075


Hope is dead; so I am going home……….



Beside her I lay these words: Your life was short, your sorrow great, but your smile filled the darkest places of my hart and brought joy to my last days.


Your consolation; you can now run to a home that will never end, joy that never stops and peace is all you will know, forever more.


My consolation shall be this; our separation will be short as my days draw to a close, soon I will see all those I have loved in their true beauty as my blindness gives way to sight.


My Lord, I have screamed "WHY" until my voice was faint. Your answers never came; you left me to seek them on my own. Am I a fool to believe in you? I have walked and walked looking for some clue, some explanation. Why would a loving God allow such a world as this? The loneliness and silence was too much to bear as I continued to walk. Why did your answers never come? My wife once said as I asked “why” (during one of my pity parties); “I don’t know, but did you ever think, why not?” Should I expect nothing bad to happen because I have followed you? I have watched as everyone I have ever loved was taken away from me. I have been left to walk in this world alone, my biggest fear came true. So I feel I have the right to ask why, but you will not answer. Who am I to expect an explanation from you? Maybe the truth is my mind of flesh and blood could never understand nor comprehend you or your ways. Just as child never understands their father while they struggle to grow up, they have to leave home before they can understand its comfort and security. I guess you have to walk in darkness before you appreciate the light, you can never enjoy heaven until you have walked through hell. Maybe it’s then and only then you can go home and get the answers to the questions you buried deep as a child.


So my Father, I’m coming home............
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