Day 1039

If there could be paradise on earth, I would suppose this place would come close. This little community runs pretty well and has a lot to offer. The people do share what they have with each other. If one has a trade that is of benefit to another he will apply his trade and receive for his or her payment, something that the other person is good at. The Barter system, as such. The credit system Ralph first told me about only applies if some on does a big job for another and that person trade does not equal out in payment. So that person is in dept to the other until he (or she) uses that person’s trade again in the future, relieving the dept owed.

Banker (or Ralph) is a lot mellower when you get to know him. He was a day trader on Wall Street and was still pretty young when the implosion started. After the banks reorganized he went in to that sector and began his climb upward as the banks were falling around him. So his back ground in the financial system gave him the experience to apply the barter system and make it fare for all. He say’s he likes seeing people work to make others happy instead of working for a quick buck (we see eye to eye on the money greed system as being on of the big evils in our previous world). When you barter with someone you better give him you best or he may not do as good a job for you, kind of a self inflicted quality control.

These people have treated me good and they treat Hope like she is a princess. She is the queen of the ball, because there are no other children here (she may get spoiled, but I can think of no one that deserves it more). Most of these people just wandered here and chose to stay. Banker had a vacation house here so when he lost his family back in New York he made his way here, and the others just gathered over time. He said he had made his fortune after most of the banks imploded during the teen years (2013-2019), like most he used the water fall of bail out money to line his pockets, he confessed it was one sin that still haunts him to this day. After losing his wife, (who was a fine Christian woman as he put it) he came here and began his search for the Lord. In his quest he found his propose, and that was providing shelter for any who happen by here. He likes to think his idea for this community is much like the first church after Pentecost, where each individual had all things in common (or share and share alike). And I have found nothing so far to dispute that point. Since I am the elder, they require no work from me, and give to me as my needs dictate, but I still help out in the fields and repair furniture as needed. If man could have contained his greed and lust, we could have been living this way all along. But we could never have enough, there was always the need for more that haunted us and eventually kills us by the millions.

If I can find any fault, it is the taking in any one with out suspicions. I have learned to be cautious by not trusting people and have them prove themselves to me. But here they take in anyone regardless. Example; they just a few days ago took in this woman and her teenage son who wandered here from the streets of St Louis. It was clear to me they are not well, but I was not sure what it was. I told Ralph not to let them come in contact with others and to quarantine them off until we were sure they were of no threat. But he would have none of it. Now people come and go from their house taking care of them, but the boy seems worst. It looks like nothing I have seen before.

I think a lot about Hope and her happiness; she should be around other children her own age. I still think the Amish would be her best bet for that, they have even kept a school system up and are the only ones I know of that are teaching future generations. So I am thinking about wintering here and try for Amish country next spring. I could use the rest and Hope should not have to walk her little life away.

Go to Day 1046

Day 1033

This is the first time since the search for Hope that I have been able to write about all that happened. I have seen more than my share of death, it effects me differently every time, some times your just to close to the situation to be able to write about it. But I will try to put these events down. Maybe it will help me to forget or at least move on. I now maybe have a small understanding of what soldiers went through after they come back from war, witnessing much death is not good for the human soul. You either hold it deep with in and act as if nothing happened or become cold and bitter. I have chosen to write about it to you, my past self. Since you will never read it, I can rest assured I’m not burdening you with more that you can handle.

We left the settlement and headed east on bicycles, it was Banker and I that took this route as others went in different direction. There were eight search parties in all, two to each. One gun was issued to each party, since we knew they had my gun, no one wanted to be unarmed. Banker was carrying a 300 weatherby magnum, it was made for very long distance shooting, but it was all that was left and he said he like the gun. Some search parties went in directions they had seen the couple go before when they wanted to be alone. I was hoping my hunch was right and they went east on I-64. We got back to the camp and look around in more detail to see if we saw any signs of which way they might have headed. There were none. Banker saw how distress I was and suggested we ride on in the same direction, just to see if we saw any thing (or maybe he was just trying to keep me busy). We rode on for what seem like days, but it was only an hour and a half at the most. Just as we had decided to turn around I saw something in the brush, it was Hope’s hat. I picked it up and stuffed it in the basket on the back of the bike and we rode on, this time a little faster. I began to see signs of something being dragged on the side of the road, like someone had pick up a stick and was dragging the point in the dirt; I think it was Hope, trying to leave bread crumbs. She may not be able to speak, but she is not dumb, she is a smart one, how else would she have survived in a house all alone for a week with her dead mother.

The trail got heaver and more frequent. Some times it was part of a torn dress, other times it was a turned over rock. We then found a place where they had stayed the night. So they could not be far now, since we are riding and they are walking. We knew we could be up on them at any moment. We came to an exit off the highway and I decided to go up and take a look in the abandon convenience store of the highway exit. As I got to the door it was ajar, so I pulled out my pistol and ease in the door. I heard some scurrying sounds so I turned to look down the isle; then I heard someone behind me. I turn around to come face to face with my own rifle. Drop it was all I heard, so I let the pistol slip from my hand. “You’re a hard headed old bastard aren’t ya” I heard the woman say. She was standing behind the man with the rifle, holding on to Hope. “I told you, you should have but a bullet in him” she said again. The man responded; (but never took his bead off of me) I said I would help you, I did not say I would kill anyone. It was then I got the following idea, I said; Son have you fired that rifle? No, but I know how, so stay put! Do you now, I continued; well if you had fired it you would have realized it will not shoot? How stupid do you think I am old man, why would you have a rifle that does not shoot! I sure you very bright (I said as I walked towards him), bright enough to know that I would not leave a gun lying around children with out it being safe. What are you talking about and stop where your at. But I kept creeping forward, I saw with my peripheral vision, that Banker was just out side the front store glass window and already had his gun train on the man, moving forward was a risky move but it kept his attention on me. I was now almost close enough were all I had to do was lean forward to rest my head on the end of the barrel. I spoke again; that’s right I remove the firing pin every night, its right here in my pocket, so you see the only working gun around here is the one that is pointed at you right now. When I said that it caused something I did not count on, the woman pull hope closer and pulled out a knife and rested it at Hopes throat.

I had done it, I made it worst, now Hope was in more danger and it was all because of my stupidly. Banker whirled the gun around and pointed it at the woman and yelled, Janice you don’t want to hurt that child, I will shoot. She then said; I know better Banker Ralph, you don’t have the guts. The man had not realized what the woman had done and tried to turn to look, that is when it all slowed down. Once his eyes were off me, I reached up to grab the gun, when I did he pulled the trigger and the muzzle blast hit my left ear full force, that last thing I heard was the bullet spining past my head. This startled Banker and he shot towards the woman and Hope. Both hit the floor. While the hot barrel of the rifle was still in my hand I took the butt of the rifle and jam it in the man’s face; he hit the ground as well. I then ran towards Hope, she was lying so still, I prayed that God would not ask this of me again, I did not know if I could bare any more death. I pulled the woman off to the side to get her off of Hope. She was dead shot in the chest full force with a gun not meant to be used at this close range. I picked Hope up she was covered in blood, but she looked up at me as if to say, I knew you would come. I took her out side and wiped off the blood as much as I could while she kept her arms around my neck.

We are now back at the settlement, Banker as his people have taken real good care of us. The hearing in my left ear is gone, but I don’t need it any way I have heard enough for one life time. Hope and I communicate just fine and if any one else has something to say to me they just have to talk to my right side. Banker has been very distraught over killing the Woman, he had no intentions of firing, it just happened. I have tried to console him, as have the people of this fine community. But it will take time; he has been on his knees a lot asking for forgiveness. I know God has forgiven him, he has just got to believe he is forgiven, that is the hard part for so many. The young man ran off, we have not seen him since. Come to find out, the woman had lost her daughter about ten years ago during the fall, Hope reminded her of her little one that had been tagged at birth and died at the age of six. The mind of a mother that lost her child to a decision she made, must have been a tormented one, I guess seeing a child again pushed her over the edge.

I have thought about staying here with these people that helped me out when I needed it. Good people are hard to find any more, especially ones that will go out of their way to help a stranger. I need a few more days rest, to get my balance back, seems loosing your hearing affects your balance more than you would think. So I will ponder over the notion about settling down here, for Hope’s sake. This may be the end of my walking; it may just be the end.


Go to Day 1039