one to work the dam I guess the water is backed up. The abandon boats at the dock have not moved nor have they sunk, so I guess no storms have upset them (except for that one that washed ashore). The water has reached all the way up to the shop; I guess I should have not built it so close to the lake. But it was such a nice view, I could not resist. It has been so many years since I used any of the
power tools, there all rusted now (and of coarse the water and dampness did not help). I use to enjoy building stuff out here but that was long ago, when the power went out I did nothing out there but repair work on ours and the kid’s stuff, what little I could do with hand tools. If all the other had not happen I’m sure I could have adapted to making things with out the aid of electricity, but the point soon became moot.As I walked around the house before I went in I looked down the road. I can still see them as if it was yesterday. My sons disappearing out of site as they walked out into the unknown. It was their idea, something they wanted to
do for their mom. It was supposed to be a present for her, but she was afraid for them; we all were. But they insisted; so the day came and they said good bye too their wives and children and left to find out what happen to their brother. It was the most unselfish act I have ever witness. I promised them I would keep their families safe, but it would be a promise I would fail to keep. They walked down that road and we never saw them again……Months crawled by and we waited. Then a year passed, we still had hope. But into the next year, hope was hard to hold on to, that’s when we were invaded. We tired to keep a low profile out in the country by the lake. I told the older ones and the teenagers to be careful going into town. But they became naive and trusting and would not listen to the old man or their mothers. One day they brought a family back from town, a man, his wife and their three children. They were hungry and we had enough to share. The kids were just trying to do they right thing, how were they to know how sick that family was. The jump took everyone I loved in less than three months and I was all alone. My wife was the last to go, she should have never had to see all her family die, she did not deserve that. Like always though, she gave all she had until the end. The most Christ like person I ever knew, I miss her more with every day that passes.
When I walked west that first year, I looked through out north Mississippi for my son’s. I walked the path I thought they might have taken. I walked all the way to my Sons house; no on was there. It looked as if they pack up and left. Maybe the two boys made it and they were all on their way back. I thought for awhile I might find them one day when I walked the south…..but I never did. Then it got were I just avoided going through north Mississippi…..maybe part of me did not want to know. It looks as if they never made it back home, so maybe they never knew I let them down.
I sit alone in this empty house as I write my final words. Now I will wait; my head has gotten much worst and it is hard to stop the bleeding. I feel very weak and those last miles home I thought at any moment would be my last. I have had a lot of time to think these last few years all alone, some might say I thought too much about stuff. But what else did I have to do. If I could sum it
all up it would be this. As human beings we kept looking for the big bad, the monster over the hill, the Antichrist the one that would destroy us all so we could point a finger and say there is the reason, he’s the one to blame. And if all else failed we blamed God, the buck always stopped with Him. But the truth was we were to blame, we were the Antichrist, we turned our backs and continued down our selfish road to destruction, completely opposite of what Christ taught. We failed to look in the mirror at the real monster. Christ came and lived the most unselfish life and then his final act was to give this life for us all. This was our example, this was GOD. But we were too blind to see, to blinded by this world to worry about the next. To blind to have faith, the key to the door home. Our blindness led to our own destruction. I spent most of my life standing on the promise of faith. I was not a very good man, but I was forgiven; because I asked. It did not exclude me from a life of hell at times, but my time was short here compared to the eternity that awaits. So…I….look…forward…too…….I…….loo……forw………t………….Go to End of Days
